(To be clear, I’m not serious. This post is sarcasm. Minneapolis municipal power is one of the dumbest ideas I’ve heard in a long time.)

The wise members of the Minneapolis city council are considering doing something bold. Rather than be at the mercy of the greedy capitalists that run Xcel, they are considering taking direct action. They want to municipalize the electric and gas utilities in Minneapolis.

The nay-sayers are having a field day.

The nay-sayers are having a field day. They say it would be too expensive. They say that the city doesn’t have the expertise to run a utility. Well, I say they’re wrong. There is no magic to running a business. That’s a myth that capitalists want us to believe. Running a utility is easy. The problem is that the city council is being too timid. They are thinking too small.

It’s obvious that the city council can run an electric utility far better than a bunch of businesspeople obsessed with profit! We need windmills and solar power NOW. Residents have to invest in green energy, and the city council is in the best position to make them do it. Not only is this the best thing to do, it’s the right thing to do.

Some say that borrowing the money to do this would cost too much, but that’s the fault of the banks. The solution is to run the banks, too. The job of banker is even easier than that of a utility executive, and they make way too much money. Bankers are loaning money to all the wrong people, and charging too much interest. The city council could run the banks better, and do it in a socially responsible way. If the city ran the banks, they could do a much better job of deciding who gets loans, and also loan themselves the money for the Xcel deal at a fair rate.

Think big. After improving utilities and banking, move on to basic necessities – grocery stores. Food is too important be left to the vagaries of the market. Food should be a right, and the city should do something about it.

Of all the profit-obsessed, poorly run industries, the grocery stores are the worst. They are located in the wrong neighborhoods, they push environmentally ruinous, genetically modified and contaminated food, and they charge too much. The city should establish a city-wide co-op to provide food for its residents. Food is an absolute necessity, so ideally, the city should provide the food for free, maybe with ration cards, but the public may not be ready for that yet. To begin with, just running the grocery business would be a step in the right direction.

Another obvious candidate is construction. Why should we allow private, profit-making construction companies? They are an even bigger problem than the utilities and the banks. Many buildings are already heavily scrutinized by the city, but they still don’t do it right. They use too much energy, not enough green space, too much noise, etc. A city wide construction consortium should own all of the construction companies who operate in the city. This would not only solve the problem of conflicts with developers, but it would be more efficient, and again, the city could guarantee good terms on everything it builds.

We are only scratching the surface here. The potential is huge for improving our quality of life, our environmental awareness, and ending the “profits before people” attitude of business in our city. The city of Minneapolis could, and should be a paradise. Let’s get started.

(remember – sarcasm….)